Thursday, May 27, 2010
Three attempts, two months. I feel like a failure. I am a failure. And what gets to me, is that my life isnt that hard, and im not that crazy, im simply sad. There would be days were i would just sleep at home, afraid of what the future held, afraid of trying to get anywhere. Or sometimes i would just sit and stare at the cuts on my arms, so thin, so perfect. Death was a mystery to me, and that is why i sought out to find it. It was the unknown. To attempt suicide, one has to already feel the pain, and experience it. Sure, everyone wants to die and forget about everything at some point in their life. Its only when you start preparing yourself for the pain and suffering, both mentally and physically, when you know you are suicidal. The people who arent prepared to live, are prepared to die.